So here it is….
The dreaded
2WW
I am 4dp5dt and
have no symptoms at all.
I had 24 eggs
retrieved
15
fertilized
2 transferred
5 Embryos have been frozen
The first two together
The last three together
My first beta draw
Is
July 31, 2013
Next Wednesday
Subsequently it is probably the best day I could have asked
for a beta draw
(It’s Harry Potter’s Birthday!)
He’s kind of the love of my life
I’m also still trying to convince J that
Harrison James
Is a fabulous name for a boy!
Anyway, I digress
I’m not feeling as hopeful today as I have been
With no symptoms and a long wait
Before my beta draw
I’ve hit despair state
I don’t want to be negative
(In state of mind, or
on a blood test!)
But it’s beyond difficult.
This is way worse than the pain after retrieval
And even worse than the boredom of
48 hours bed rest
after transfer
I’m just so worried about how I’ll be able to handle it
if the test is
negative.
I guess I’d mourn
and then move on
Same as always
I just don’t want to.
I’m ready for my life to move on from this horrible stage
I’m ready to finally be excited about something concrete
And to finally start the next chapter in my life
As a mom
I’m terrified about Wednesday
To the point where
I almost wish it would never come.
If you’re reading this,
Say a quick prayer.
I’d really appreciate it.
Lena
