Scared..

Already my happy- go -lucky outlook has been shot.

I took an HPT yesterday, 

which was  6dp5dt.

It was negative,

No big deal, It was negative last time on  6dp5dt.

I did a little research, and it seems that brand that I bought, 

only starts measuring hcg at 50.

That made me feel a lot more confidant. 

I bought a digital HPT after work yesterday that is said to detect HCg at 25 units.

I  woke up at 2:45 am with a very bad need to use the bathroom. 

I decided to go ahead and test, using one digital and one regular.

Both Negative.

I let J know and we were both pretty upset. 

I got a very faint positive  at 7dp5dt last time, 

and my first beta was a 12!

I couldn't seem to go back to sleep after that,

 so I stayed awake and used another digital exactly 4 hours after the first one.

It was also negative

I am trying to keep hope, 

but it just doesn't make sense to me why

 I would have gotten a positive last time with a 12 beta, 

and nothing this time.

I guess because it didn't work this time.

 I know it's early 

and I know that hope isn't over 

until the nurse coordinator calls with Beta results.

But I have to say, I am having a very hard time keeping the faith.

If anyone has any similar stories with GOOD OUTCOMES-

 please leave a post in the comments. 

I could use some encouragement 

very badly right now.

Lena